Ask the NP Mentor Guest Post: How to Discourage Biting While Breastfeeding

What do you do when your infant is biting you while breastfeeding and you feel like you've tried everything? Seek an answer at The Natural Parents Network where, today, I and two other mentors share our experience and knowledge for Ask the NP Mentor.

We would love to hear your own experiences and other comments  or have the opportunity to answer a question for you that involves a parenting issue. While you're visiting the NPN blog, check out all of its features, including a members forum that you can join and participate in connecting with naturally minded parents around the world!

Stacking Cups and Ball Games

Spontaneous games and play often leads to wonderful opportunities for natural learning. Last week, I made up a game with Everett that turned out to be perfect for beginner's math. It was very simple and similar to an old carnival game. We took Kellan's stacking cup, each with a number on the bottom (1-9) and lined them up side by side. We used some small balls from ball guns and other toys. To play the game, we simply took turns tossing the balls into the cups trying to get as many in as possible.

The number on the bottom of the cup indicated the number of points we received for that ball. We used our fingers to count and add up the scores. Very simple addition, like 1+3=4. Any number we couldn't count out on our two hands, I added up. It started with us counting on my fingers but he picked it up right away and began counting on his own fingers by his second turn. Then, he also wanted to start writing out the numbers. 

After one game, Everett created his own version of the game by including the chair as an obstacle. Much harder but he loved it nonetheless and would get super excited when he scored.

Of course, when you have multiples, it's best to figure out how to include everyone. Kellan happily took his turn playing with the balls and cups in between (and sometimes during) our turns. 

At nine months, a fun game to play with Kellan is to put the balls into the cups in continually decreasing sizes allowing him to figure out how to get them out.

They were super simple games that were developmentally appropriate for both ages and took no time to set up. In turn, they were a great chance to connect through play and observe how my boys are growing kinesthetically and intellectually.

Be Present Mama Gets a Make Over!!

Ta-da! I've gotten a make-over! It's coming on the one-year anniversary for BPM and it felt due for some changes. I'm streamlining my topics from general whole-living and natural-parenting be-present types of articles to articles focused on three areas of connection- food, creativity and play. I'll still be participating in the Carnival of Natural Parenting, and posting here for the links to my articles on Natural Parents Network. I still write the occasional article specific to parenting, but they will be more geared towards the overall tone of connection.

Why those three? Well, I have felt naturally inclined to post more about the activities that I do with Everett most recently because not only does it make blogging a bit easier, but I've found that it's what I believe in most. Growing as a parent in the past (nearly) 4 years, through experience and reading, I've found that playing with Everett, and now Kellan has the most profound effect. So profound, I have to say that it goes above and beyond almost anything else I do as a parent to build a strong, loving, and trust-filled relationship. When we play together, we are the most connected. I want to encourage other families to play together, to roll around on the floor and get silly or put on a cape and run around pretending to be superheroes.

Food, as some of you older readers might have guessed, is the second love of my life. To nourish my children with real, wholesome food and to help them build a healthy relationship with their food is an integral part of our day. Instead of allowing it to become part of the background, I make the food we eat a clear and conscious choice and another avenue for connection. My children join me in the kitchen from the day they are born and will always be encouraged to be a part of meal preparations. This, too, I want to encourage in other families by continuing to write "Kids in the Kitchen" recipes and share how I make this all (above) happen.

Creativity is alive and always flowing through children. They thrive on creativity. It oozes from their pores. Essentially, its another name for play, only it often ends with something tangible. I chose creativity, as opposed  to art (even though we do a lot of art) because creativity isn't just about art. It can be a science project or a dramatic skit just as much as it can be a drawing. Adults so often lose their confidence in creating. We become rigid and tight. We self edit and become judgmental. Learning to put all that aside, however, we open the doors to our children. Through our creations, Everett and I learn from each other, have fun, and grow a deeper connection. I want families to shrug off their inhibitions and get messy with their kids.

So, there it is. My new face. I hope you like the changes and continue to love the articles. Happy reading!

Watching the Snow Fall

The magic and awe of snow is too fleeting to put aside for what needs to be done. No matter what our house or life looks like, when it snows we do a little celebrating.  Wednesday afternoon we warmed up inside while watching the first flakes fall in anticipation for a good winter storm tonight.

We set up at our window bench with a couple blankets and just gazed outside. It didn't take long for us to think of some other things to do. We painted snowflakes on our windows with washable paints and Q-tips. We snuggled. We made hot chocolate and danced around making silly songs about the snow....

"Snow! Snow! We love the snow! We love to watch it blow and blow.
The snow is white, it's so bright. But that's all right cuz we love the snow!
Onto your coat you should hold, because it's cold, so I'm told.
But that's okay cuz we like to play out in the snow all day!"

It wasn't long before those big flakes tempted us outside for a walk to the park. I know the cold and snow isn't for everyone, but there is absolutely nothing like walking in the falling snow. And it's a perfect opportunity to connect with my boys through the magic of it all.

Bed Sharing with Two (or More) Children

Do you love co-sleeping with your child and are you getting ready to have another baby? Have you ever wondered how you are going to work out sharing your bed with more than one child? Or are you curious as to how your friends (or those crazy crunchy moms) do it?

Hop over to  the Natural Parents Network, which is featuring an article today that I've written about Bed Sharing with Two (or More) Children. I'd love to read your comments on how you or someone you know has handled this same situation!

Baby-Led Feeding (Weaning)

When Everett was an infant, we took a relatively conventional approach to introducing solid foods. Around six months (we were smart enough to wait until then) we started looking for signs that he was ready to eat. We didn't have to look hard because by then he was reaching for our food, opening his mouth for bites, mimicking our chewing, and so forth. He was definitely ready.

I didn't research what foods were best, but went with my own educated ideas on healthy, wholesome food. I didn't feed him rice cereal because it didn't seem like it would be as nutritional as the oatmeal we chose. We made our own organic and natural foods and just followed his lead through baby foods to table foods and on.

I assumed that Kellan would be roughly the same, but was well-researched enough to know not to introduce grains (especially rice cereal) first. I decided to go with a Traditional Foods diet, as we are all transitioning to this diet. Kellan has been, however, slow to change. It seems in his opinion, breast is best.

At nearly 9 months he has just started showing true interest in solid foods and still only eats a few bites a day. He has always refused to be fed by anyone but himself. Period. He refuses spoons or fingers, purees or anything small. He'll take a chunk of banana or a slice of pear that is easy to hold and slowly nibble at it until he's more interested in playing with it than eating it.

As I learned about the concept of "baby-led feeding" or "baby-led weaning" I could easily see that it fit the bill for Kellan. Whether we would have chosen to go that route or not, he chose it for us.

In baby-led feeding, Kellan decides when he's ready to eat, what he eats, how often or for how long he eats and how much he eats. I still have the responsibility of offering him diverse and healthy options and being present to his cues and safety, but he makes the rest of the choices.

As a mother who practices attachment parenting, to feed with love and respect it seems perfectly intuitive and natural to allow my child to lead the way on solid foods. 


See these links for more information on Baby-Led Feeding:


What is Baby Led Weaning and is it the right approach to introducing solid foods?

Guidelines for implementing a baby-led approach to the introduction of solid food

Experimental Painting

One of Everett's favorite art activities has always been painting. The most honest indications of his development can be seen when he paints without prompting or teaching. It's the best way for him (and all kids) to learn how to create art. Unprompted, uninterrupted, unconcerned about results. It's all about the process and exploration. 

I wrote about open-ended art projects back in April of 2010. Here's a little bit of what I wrote, 

Open-ended simply means that there is no adult-driven result in mind, like creating a realistic picture of flowers with specific colors. Open-ended art projects involve objectives with words like discover, explore, or increase awareness of; for example, increase child's awareness of nature by using colors we see outside or creating a collage with natural found objects. 

What is key to young children's continual interest is that the focus is on the process, not the product. It is important to expose them to a variety of media and subject matter, then to follow their interests. Allow them to explore with the materials and not worry what the artwork looks like in the end. 

What I didn't mention is how much it feels so freeing, too! It's good for the mind and the soul. We do a lot of this art in our home, Everett alone, I alone, or (most often) together. 

This time we used just three paints to explore what happens with the mixing of blues and whites and used several circular shaped tools (Q-tips, re-purposed glitter tube, 2 sizes of sponge sticks) and a roller in place of paintbrushes.

The final creation, dried and cropped...

Snowflake Creations

We took the popular building-with-marshmallows-and-toothpicks activity to another level...

First we build snowflake shapes and ate a few marshmallows...

I think more marshmallows went in his mouth than onto his snowflakes...

We let them dry for a couple days. Then, we painted our toothpicks white...

It was such a lovely, quiet morning activity.

And added glue and sparkles to our marshmallows!

I love this action shot. Great way to re-purpose styrofoam trays, btw.

Now we have some of the beautiful snowflakes of winter hanging in our dining room!

Everett's original snowflake... wish you could see the sparkles!

That one in the left corner is Everett's *Building Snowflake*

Everett took this picture!

Wordless Wednesday: Sledding and Roughousing Boys

Yoga for Immunity

The perfect accompaniment to a wholesome, diverse diet that prevents illness is a regular yoga routine. In an article on Yogajournal.com, Support Your Immune System, author Angela Pirisi says this,

As many longtime yogis can attest, asana practice provides a gentle, natural means of supporting the immune system on a day-to-day basis—no matter how hectic your schedule might be. Yoga helps lower stress hormones that compromise the immune system, while also conditioning the lungs and respiratory tract, stimulating the lymphatic system to oust toxins from the body, and bringing oxygenated blood to the various organs to ensure their optimal function.

Inversion poses are especially helpful because they stimulate your lymphatic system. When inverted with your head below your heart, the lymph in your body moves into your respiratory organs, where many wintertime infections take place. Then, when you move upright, the lymph drains back down, cleansing your lungs, sinuses, and respiratory system.

Twists are effective as well because they wring out your internal organs and stimulate blood flow. They ease and massage your digestive system, where, we all know, more of those nasty winter illnesses occur.

To do an immunity boosting beginners yoga sequence, step into these three simple inversions for 30 seconds to two minutes after warming up with a few sun salutations:

Downward Facing Dog
Wide Legged Forward Bend
Bharadvaja's Twist

The relax in a restorative pose for several minutes. Legs-up-the-wall pose feels really good after a long day on your feet and is a gentle inversion that stimulates blood flow to the brain and upper body.  Child's pose with your forehead resting and pulling slightly against a stack of blankets, firm pillow or bolster helps relieve sinus pressure.

Whole Foods for Wintertime Wellness

I'd like to say I'm great at preventing colds with herbs and supplements, that I know right away which homeopathic or naturopathic treatment will cure our ailments. We do take echinacea herbal blends at the first sign of colds, use zinc lozenges, make our own soup stocks with astragulus and nettles, and have recently incorporated elderberry syrup.  But the truth is I'm doing good if remember to take my usual vitamins, let alone adding the extras, especially if it's one I would have to take multiple times a day.

I have a feeling a lot of you would count yourself in the same boat. So what do we do to boost immunity for the cold and flu season? Our best defense is the food we eat. I do everything I can to make sure that I provide meals full of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals that are natural immunity boosters and microbe fighters.

Some key elements are...

• Garlic- It inhibits or kills a gamut of microbes including bacteria, yeast, fungi and parasites. It's even shown in studies to be active against viruses that cause colds and flus. What's even better is that our body rids some of its active ingredients through our lungs so it goes right where we need it most. Eating one fresh clove a day is probably one of the best steps you can take. I use it in the majority of our meals, but also started eating a fresh clove in the middle of a green olive every day. If you can't stand it raw, toss it in your food at the end of cooking so it's active ingredients aren't killed by the heat.
• Onion- It's related to garlic so it has a lot of the same properties.
• Red bell peppers, oranges, greens, kiwi, broccoli and potatoes- All are rich in Vitamin C, a natural infection fighter. There are loads more foods than those, too. The key is to get at least 1000mg per day, and most of it through natural sources. Too much in supplement form can cause diarrhea and headaches. Natural sources don't have the same effect. Your body can only process or use so much of it at once, too, so spread out that 1000 mg throughout the day. 
• Cayenne, turmeric, ginger and cinnamon- All are "warming" spices that help fight and prevent infection by promoting healthy circulation. 
• Free range chicken eggs, (preferably raw) milk and grass fed cow liver- Are the only food sources for Vitamin A and they also contain a lot of omega-3 fatty acids. Liver or liver oil supplies Vitamin D, as well. Vitamin A is a viral infection fighter.  Overdosing on supplemental forms of Vitamin A can have dangerous side effects, but its debatable whether you can overdose from natural sources and get the same side effects. Omega-3's reduce inflammation and boost your mood. At least 1000-1200 IU of Vitamin D (in food or supplement form) is known to prevent influenza and boost your mood.
• Butternut squash, pumpkin, carrots, and sweet potatoes- Contain beta carotene, which forms vitamin A in your body. 
• Kefir, yogurt and kombucha- Chock full of probiotics that keep the "ecosystem" of your GI in balance and inhibit the growth of pathogens and bad bacteria. They are thought to be active in the balance of inflammation in the body's healing process, too. The research supporting the consumption of fermented foods for their probiotics continues to grow. Rich in antioxidants, amino acids and enzymes, Kombucha not only helps balance your GI, it is also possibly involved in aiding your liver in detoxifying the body.
• Seeds- A lot of seeds, such as sunflower seeds, contain Vitamin E and selenium, both which increase the production of killer cells in the blood. Other sources of selenium include tuna, brown rice, chicken, garlic and egg yolk. 

I will continue to try incorporating more preventatives in our life through the use of herbs and homeopathics but I know, and you can be assured as well, that the foundation for prevention begins with healthy, wholesome food.

Boundaries and Rhythm Guest Post at NPN

Natural Parents Network is running a piece by me today on how to provide consistent care and respond with sensitivity for your preschool age child.  Did you know that boundaries and rhythm are an integral part of that?
Please click over to NPN to read my article and leave your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you!

More on Creating Rhythm

Since we are focusing at this time on changing our daily and weekly rhythms, I thought I would post a few great articles I have read about creating rhythm.

The Parenting Passageway is a fabulous Waldorf blog and the writer, Carrie, is full of wisdom. This is my absolute favorite blog right now.  Here are a few posts she has written about rhythm that helped me tremendously....

From just yesterday, Rhythm for the Irregular
Back to Basics: Rhythm
Changing Your Rhythm with the Seasons
Back to Basics: Staying at Home and Loving It

This one isn't specifically about rhythm but it's a great starting point for introspection before beginning your rhythm...
Gentle Discipline= Connection Plus Boundaries

FlyLady.net has a great "program" of sorts to help create a cleaning routine and feel positive about your home. While I opt out of her use of conventional cleaners, she has some good stuff.

An example of our rhythm, a combination of "planning" and going with the flow....

Wake up (working on the time becoming more consistent)
Get dressed (unless it's a proclaimed PJ day cuz you gotta have 'em)
Make and eat breakfast
Clean up
Playtime/Errands/Outings (usually around 9:30)
15-20 minutes of chores in that block of time between breakfast and lunch, too.
Make and eat lunch
Clean up
Playtime (especially outside if possible)
Another 15-20 minutes of chores
Tea and snack time
Quiet time
Playtime
Make and eat dinner
Clean up table
Bathtime or quiet play with daddy
Bedtime
Clean up kitchen/ prep for tomorrow
Me time and bedtime

Then through the week I have a specific chore to work on each day...

Monday- extra projects like sewing and Everett's room
Tuesday- deep clean in the kitchen, including mopping or cleaning the fridge
Wednesday- groceries and baking/making kombucha/extra cooking
Thursday- bathroom
Friday- art room/yard work
Saturday- dusting and vacuuming
Sunday- laundry and my room

Wordless Wednesday: Snuggletime

A House is a Home

Today at our home school group we talked about families and created magnets out of pictures of our families. It was a very simple, cute activity and I know Everett will have fun playing with his new magnets on the fridge. We loosely cut out photos, glued them to magnet "paper" and then cut out the picture magnet more exactly.

Later at home we took out one of our favorite books, This is the House that Jack Built illustrated and retold by Simms Taback.  We talked about what makes a house a home instead of just a place to live. When I first asked Everett what the difference between a house and a home is, he didn't know. He said, "A house is where you sleep and play and eat and a home is where you do the same thing."

So I retold the story of a book we read back in October, called Home back. Through the story we added the ideas of love and family to a home and how that distinguishes it from a house. Together we drew pictures of fun houses and added our family doing things we enjoy in order to make them homes.

One Step Whole Living: Creating Rhythm in the Home

Last month, I began a new challenge for myself taking one simple step into whole living. I'm beginning a new challenge each month as I incorporate the last one into my life. I also hope to update on my progress throughout the month.

In December my challenge was to reduce the amount of processed foods my family eats. I don't know what I was thinking when I said that was one step! That's more like a year's challenge. I did, however, stick to my idea and made progress. I began a sourdough starter twice, and killed it twice. I think the place I chose to keep it was too warm, so I'm on to my third try. If that doesn't work, a friend of mine found a great source for me to purchase one, Cultures for Health.

I did start buying sprouted grain and sourdough only breads from Whole Foods and have started collecting recipes that include soaked grains/flour so I can begin making more nutritious baked goods in general. I substituted some of our sandwiches for whole grain salads or sides. And I got the opportunity to make my own ketchup, which was actually pretty easy and tasty.

Now here we are, in the midst of Winter and beginning a new year.  As I contemplated the year, I realized how perfect that Winter is to create a new rhythm at home. A rhythm, if you are not familiar, is similar to a routine or schedule in that it is how your day goes. It is unlike a schedule in that it is created naturally or intuitively, not so much planned. It incorporates all that a day contains- waking up, getting dressed, meals, chores, play, rest/naps, baths and bedtime- but also considers mood or tone and environment.

Along with the beginning of the year, my husband will soon begin a new semester at school and my Everett is going to be staying at home instead of going to school.  So, while I am not necessarily planning our rhythm, I am focusing on it this month. I am putting aside extra projects and keeping our schedule free to allow plenty of time at home. Our rhythm will serve as a wonderful foundation of stability for the busier spring and summer to come, and it serves to support Everett as he grows more independent and branches out to participate in more activity outside our home.


There are a few things to consider in creating a rhythm at home...

• The day should be paced by the child. As adults, we work at a much faster pace and are in our heads more of the time. I encourage you to slow down. 
• Your rhythm should be consistent and predictable. Here is where some of my planning comes it. We specify a day to run errands, like grocery shopping, and take classes. This is planned, however, and only kept if it works with the flow of the rest of the day and week. 
• Work in small increments of time, maybe 15 minutes, when accomplishing tasks. This keeps my focus on Everett and keeps me from getting caught up in "what must be done." 
• Play should be a large part of the day. 
• Incorporate chores into the rhythm and involve your child.  I often ask Everett if he wants to help with the dishes or spray the cleaner as I dust. At this pace he is eager to help, not too much is expected of him, and he learns how a family works. 
• Set aside time for rest or quiet for everyone. Everett is still learning how to spend some quiet time by himself (at least without a screen in front of him) but I am trying to implement one so that he learns that parents need a recharge, too. Often we share in quiet time with books or artwork and while allowing Kellan time to nap. 
• Follow the flow of the sun. Rise with the sun and start the day with the bulk of your activity. Quiet the house down and begin bedtime routines with the setting of the sun. 
• Be sure that your home environment reflects the flow of the day. Create a space that nurtures your rhythm.  Bright sunlit rooms in the day time, music and activity. Lights low, slower paced activity and quiet voices in the evenings.