March Library Love

This is a monthly post in which I'll feature the books we borrowed at the library that we loved and want to share.  Reading is one of the most important activities to engage in with your child and not only because of the educational benefits. Reading is a time to connect with your child and be present to their interests and development. A weekly or bi-weekly trip to the library fills your bookshelves with an array of subjects, allowing your child to explore new interests and develop a love of reading. 

This is what we've checked out in the month of March...

5. Bubble Trouble

Margaret Mahy

A little blows a bubble that swallows up her little brother and takes him bobbing across the town. By the end a trail of townsfolk are chasing after him and a trouble-making little boy brings an end to the bobbling bubble.

I loved it because of it's tongue-twisting rhymes and whimsical vocabulary. Everett loved it because he loves bubbles and the rhyming story is quite entertaining.

4. Wink: The Ninja Who Wanted To Be Noticed 
J.C. Phillips

About a little boy in Japan who goes to ninja school but doesn't quite fit in because he wants to be noticed instead of blend in... soon enough he finds his niche in an unexpected place.

I loved it because it worked as a spring board to talk a little bit about Japanese culture. Everett loved it because of the round-house kicks and all that ninja stuff.





3. The Dancing Tiger
Doyle Malachy


A sweet story about a little girl who happens upon a tiger who dances by the light of the full moon. Keeping his secret, the two spend years together twirling through the seasons. 


I loved this because the illustrations capture such a gentle relationship and create a magical wooded world.  The first sentence of this poetic book reads, "There's a quiet, gentle tiger In the woods below the hill, And he dances on his tiptoes, When the world is dreaming, still." 
I don't quite know what it is that Everett loved about this book, perhaps the tiger, perhaps the dancing, or maybe it was just comforting. Either way, he wanted it read to him every night before bed.

2. The Dinosaur Tamer

Carol Greathouse

This highly entertaining tale combines the wild west with dinosaur trouble! Rocky the dinosaur tamer meets his match in the T. Rex. 

What a hoot! I loved it because it was sooo much fun to read the wild west verbiage my best cowgirl accent. The book has such an original concept and combines two of most little boys favorite subjects. Everett loved it, well, for pretty much the same reasons!

1. The Last Polar Bear
Jean Craighead George

A little boy, Tigluk, comes face to face with a polar bear who asks him to follow. Tigluk and his grandmother go in search of the polar bear and come upon a little cub instead...


I loved this sweet story because of it's theme of global warming and the precious life-cycle threatened by it. It's also a great exposure to Inuit culture. The illustrations are beautiful watercolor paintings.  Everett loved it because it was about a polar bear!

The Benefits of Getting Caught up in Your Kid's Giggle Fit

There are times when Everett will be so consumed by laughter, I can't help but lose control myself. I'll start tickling him or he'll start climbing on top of me trying to lick my ear or something and the goofiness gives over to giggles.  There is nothing that puts me more in the moment with him than these giggle fits. And according to the science of the mind-body connection, these giggle fits can make a heap of difference in my health.

What does the science say? 

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, professor at the University of North Carolina, explains, "Emotions are a mind-body event." In other words, when we feel good or bad emotions, the brain releases a mix of biochemicals that starts a chain reaction of physical responses within the central nervous, immune and cardiovascular systems.

When we feel uplifted, happy or simply in the moment, these positive emotions trigger the release of progesterone and oxytocin from the brain, both of which help buffer the effects of stress in the body.  These brain chemicals can lower our heart rate and prevent increases in blood pressure. Positive feelings like relaxation and hope have been found to lower rates of high blood pressure, diabetes and viral infections like the common cold.  They seem to be triggered most often when we feel socially connected.

Further more, positive feelings also help us maintain an open attitude. "We try different things, thus building an array of physical and mental abilities, experiences and resources.  These resources, in turn, help us avoid stress by bringing more creativity to your problem-solving."

Keep in mind, the alternative can also occur. Our bodies interpret feelings of fear, sadness, anger or shame as stress. Accordingly, chemicals are released to send the body into "fight or flight" mode where blood is channeled away from the brain, heart and other organs to our large muscle groups so we can defend ourselves or run away. This is great when we are faced with a truly stressful situation, but if our bodies are constantly in this state of stress, it wreaks havoc instead. "Chronic stress takes a tangible toll on our bodies, weakening our immune, nervous, digestive, and reproductive systems and making us more susceptible to everything from heart disease and hypertension to viral infections." It has even been seen stimulate the progression of cancer.

What Can We Do?

Get silly more often! Don't feel guilty when playing with your kid's takes over time to clean the kitchen. Let go of the responsible mommy bit for a while and relax. Or call up a friend and have her bring the kids over for a play date and a little adult interaction. If you're not a naturally cheerful person or don't always love rolling around on the ground with your three year old, fear not. A whole range of constructive emotions can contribute to your health, including gratitude, peace, curiosity, pride, inspiration, and love.

Involving your child in an activity that produces these emotions gives you both the chance to connect and it paves the foundation for a consistently positive, open attitude in your child.

5 Health and Mood Boosting Activities

1. Play sports or games outside- Play some family soccer, a game of tag or go for a bike ride. Exercise triggers the release of mood-lifting hormones and has it's own health benefits. The fresh air and Vitamin D from sunlight are also natural mood boosters.

2. Practice yoga or meditate- Both give you and your family the opportunity to tune into your bodies. How does your body physically feel? Holding tension anywhere? Listen to your breath and allow it to carry you into a state of relaxation. Both yoga and meditation develop body awareness and strengthen the mind-body connection.

3. Make a Gratitude Jar- Save a glass jar or plastic container and decorate it brightly.  Write on it, "Our Gratitude Jar," and set it somewhere in the house that everyone can see it. Set with it a pen and some small slips of paper. Every day make a point to write down your name and something that you feel grateful for. At the end of the week, gather up the family and take turns pulling out one of your slips of paper, sharing what it says and a little bit behind it.

4. Create a Vision Board- Collect some art supplies, magazines, and a small poster board. Title the top, "My Vision Board" and decorate it with pictures, drawings and writings of things that inspire you. It could be specified to a particular goal, project or time period. Or it could be more generalized and left partially undone to be added to gradually.

5. Learn Something New- The next time a new ability or topic sparks your interest, do something about it. It doesn't have to be something you will learn to use for the rest of your life.  Check out community classes that are usually inexpensive or even free. Head to the library to check out books or videos. Or research how-to sites online. You never know when this new ability or information will come in handy for some of that creative problem-solving!

Resources:
"Master the Mind Body Connection," Francis Lefkowitz, Body and Soul Magazine, 2009.

Images from:
http://www.tcnjmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/brain-waves-7257915-v3.jpg
http://s4.hubimg.com/u/88399_f260.jpg

Kids Yoga Activities: Egg Walking

This week's activity helps develop body awareness. Egg walking differentiates a calm, slow and quiet body from a fast-paced, busy body.  It also enhances body coordination and focus. With practice, your child can apply the concept of a quiet body to other appropriate situations like being out somewhere, at bedtime or in school.


You will need a plastic Easter egg and a spoon for each participant. Explain what you are going to do and set it up with something fun, "We are going to walk our eggs to the park! And we need to use calm bodies so that our eggs don't fall off their spoons." Demonstrate what a calm body looks like as you walk the egg across the room and back.


Then, together, walk your eggs slowly to their destination.  If your child is walking slowly with a calm and quiet body offer praise, "Everett, you are walking so carefully. Good job!" If he is not, continue to encourage him to slow down and focus on his egg. If he drops the egg, put it back together and explain that its okay, he can try it again. For the younger child, this may take a few times through before he understands what body movement and coordination is necessary to get the egg across the room.

Once across the room say something like, "We're at the park! Let's pretend we've played a while and now it's time to go back home." Then turn around to calmly walk back.

Afterwards, talk about how a calm body looked and felt.  Compare it to how a noisy or busy body looks so that he can start making the connection between how these different states of activity physically feel.

For more ideas on activities to do with your toddler or preschooler check out the Toddler Activities Schedule by Dionna at Code Name: Mama.   I check in with her blog every week to get inspired on how to fill our days with fun and educational games. She has lots of great ideas and, if necessary, I find them easy to modify per Everett's interests and abilities.

Monster Love

I don't know how in the world the concept of monsters and other scary creatures develops in a child's brain.

Being "scared" of monsters and such has often been a mechanism Everett uses to get our attention.  If I'm on the computer, he's just finished watching a TV show and now wants my attention back, he'll dive under my legs insisting there is a monster (or insert other creepy/large creature here: bear, giant spider, etc) in the room. If I'm doing chores and he's finishing quiet time or just wants me to be with him instead of doing something on his own, he does the same thing.

However, most recently, the fright has developed into something more substantial as he has begun fantasy play and developed a stronger imagination. More frequently, he's scared of monsters at night in the dark of the house or at bedtime. He's even been hiding under the covers already.  Since this has started, I decided to research a bit on how to ease his fears. Turns out our immediate reaction was one of the best. 

I found this article, Imagination Helps Tame Young Kids Fears, on WebMD that encourages parents facing preschoolers with such fears to "stay in their imaginary world and make them more powerful, or change it to make the imaginary world more positive." 


The article based its findings on a study done by Dr. Liat Sayfan at the University of California, Davis. This study presented groups of 4-7 year old children with a scenario that included a child, a parent and a real or imaginary fear-inducing creature. The children were each asked to predict how scared the child in the scenario sounded and suggest how to cope. 


In the scenarios with imaginary creatures, Sayfan found differences in responses based on age. The older children, especially 7 year olds, did more of a reality check.  They would say "This dragon can't be there. There are no dragons in the world." Sayfan explains that they are more capable of shifting from the imaginary to reality and inhibit bad thoughts. 


The younger children are more absorbed in that imaginary world and, therefore, have a harder time of shifting out of it and into reality. They could tell you later that a monster isn't real, but while they are in the scary situation they can't separate from it. 


Sayfan suggests getting into their world and helping them learn to cope from there. Tell your child the monster is friendly. Tell it jokes to make it laugh. Or, she suggests, giving a child a spray bottle of water to aim at the monster, explaining it's anti-monster spray. 

At bedtime a week ago, Everett insisted upon hiding our heads under the covers because of a monster in the room. Pulling him a little closer to me, I responded like this:

Me:   Hey, do you know what monsters hate?

Everett:   No. 

Me:   They hate it when they creep into a bedroom just like ours and peek over the bed to scare us but instead see us hugging and kissing and snuggling! 

Everett gives a weird expression that suggests, "what?!"

Me:   Really! They think its gross and it scares them away because they think we'll love up on them too. One time I heard a monster say, "Aaah! Eeww! Look they're hugging! Let's get out of here before some of that lovey stuff comes over here!" 

Everett giggles.

Me:   Oh, monster? Come see this!!

We proceed to get all kinds of snuggly and the focus moves away from the monsters and back to bedtime. It was my first thought and it worked like a charm. 

Anytime he brings it up now, whether truly scared or just wanting a little of my attention, I ask him, "What do you think we need to do?" Then I scoop him up and we start hugging and kissing to scare away that big scary monster with a little love and imagination. 

Savoring Spring

Spring is fleeting... Between these blasts of snow that hit us mid-March and the 90 degree weather that can set in early, Spring seems to be as short as Fall in Kansas City. So, it's important to take time to relish the perfect temperatures, earthy rains, and flourishing green life. Here are some tips on how you can go beyond enjoying it to savoring it, and how Everett and I plan to savor it ourselves. Step into the moment and make a fleeting season feel long-lasting!

1. Breathe first

Every morning, pause, breathe in the freshness and set intention for the day. When  your already enjoying your day, taking a deep breath enhances your connection to that moment. When you find yourself hustling through without much notice of the day, taking a deep breath encourages you to slow down and relax.

As Everett has grown closer to three, he's been more interested in doing yoga at home. He loved classes from the get go, but wasn't interested as often to do it at home. Now, some days, he's requesting it of me. I'm going to take this opportunity to do a little breathing activity with him in the mornings. One activity I've shared  in my Kid's Yoga Activities series is Alphabet breathing. I will attach an intention to it by discussing with him what he feels like doing that day, what makes him happy or what he is good at that he can share with someone that day.

2. Get Outdoors

Always a sure bet to getting connected to the natural world- play with your kids, dig in the garden, soak up the sun. Feeling your direct connection with the earth enhances the feeling that you really are a part of it all.

Aside from a little gardening at home and at my brother's house, our spring will be filled with walks. Taking walks at Everett's pace to allow him to explore the world around is one of my favorite activities.  He loves to shove little treasures in his pockets or into my hands, and by the time we get home we are usually loaded with evidence of the natural world. We often talk about our treasures and describe their colors or textures and count them. I take the opportunity to teach him where they come from- seeds from trees and how they grow or feathers from birds and why they have them. This year we'll dig a little deeper and group similar objects, start identifying more textures and shapes.

3. Awaken Taste

Rather than eating just to fill your belly, take advantage of the beginnings of your local harvest. Pull it fresh from your own garden or get to your local farmer's market. Prep them simply and experience the food as a sacred and sensual pleasure. Anytime you put something in your mouth, make it a point to really taste it.

Spring through fall are a delight to me simply because of the food. I am a hardcore food lover and so is Everett. I can't get enough of the farm fresh produce. Everett and I will try out many new recipes and foods this year. I'm excited to continue exposing him to new tastes and textures. As a three year old more familiar with what he loves to eat, Everett is more likely to gobble down his food. I've recently started talking to him about what it means to enjoy his food. 

When we sit down to a meal together, I'll encourage him to eat slowly and tell me what he likes about the food he is eating. I'll chew slowly and deliberately explaining, "Ooh, I love how sweet and crunchy our carrots are!" or "Don't you think this cheese is creamy?" He'll usually say something like, "Mmh! Mmh! These carrots are good! They are crunchy!" 

4. Be Still

It's easy to get caught up in the rush of spring cleaning, school sports and all the activity that comes before summer.  Try not to rush, you'll get to what's most important. Take a break in the midst of a busy afternoon to just observe. Watch your family in action and just let that moment sink in. Then think about how you are feeling- a rush of joy? disappointment that you aren't caught up in a moment more often? If its the latter, then give yourself more chances to be in the moment. Plan an activity that encourages being still.

For his birthday, Everett received a pair of binoculars and a hummingbird feeder from my grandparents. We plan on setting that up in our back yard, along with some other bird feeders, and will take some time a couple times a week to just sit in the back yard or by the window and watch the birds. Maybe make a few drawings of our observations, or just talk about the different birds we see. Either way, it will give both of us the chance to just be still and be in the moment.

5. Roll with it

Forget the little things, or the things that don't quite go as planned. Expectation is the easiest way to set yourself up for disappointment and the easiest way to lose the moment. Balance out planning with just Being. 

We sure have a lot of plans for this spring. But if there is one thing I've learned being a mom, it is how to be especially flexible. Our plans are always flexible. If Everett doesn't feel like doing an art project or going to the library, we don't. I let him take part in decided where our day leads. This has created some of our best days. Partly because we just went with the flow, allowing ourselves to do whatever it is we felt like doing. 

How you will balance out your play and work time? What do you plan on doing this spring to savor it? 

Cosleeping with my Son

Sunlight has already been streaming through the windows for an hour when I open my eyes. It is a rare moment that I wake up before he does and catch the chance to gaze upon his peacefully sleeping body.

He is three now. We are months past night time nursing and waking. By now, the routine of our sleep is like a well worn comforter. It provides perfect warmth, plenty of rest and security. During the day, I can barely stop his play long enough for kisses, hugs and cuddles. I no longer have a baby, I have a little boy. Still, our mornings remain the same. 

When he wakes up, he smiles and says, "It's morning time, mom!" He wiggles a little closer as I smile back, “Good morning, buggy.”   We snuggle up and exchange I-love-you’s.  Then he slides a hand underneath my shirt to pull it up and lays his head on my chest and I stroke his cheeks.  “I love your na-nas. They make me happy.”

Pride floods in as I think about how much the simple acts of co-sleeping and breastfeeding have developed his security and happiness. The world beyond our bed is on pause and I want to stay snuggled there forever.  I let the feeling seep into my skin and flow down into my heart to find a permanent home. Somewhere it can not be replaced, neither upon waking nor growing up. But somewhere I can always go to feel it again.

I submitted this post as my entry into the Co-Sleeping Essay Contest.  You can learn more about it at my friend Dionna's blog, Code Name; Mama and read her beautiful story. You can write your own entry of 250 words or less and submit by March 23 to be included in the contest.

"TO DO" No More

It seems as a mom, even just as an adult, the "To Do" list is perpetual. Never ending. Mind consuming and time consuming. On one hand, it organizes my thoughts, my tasks and my daily life. It can make efficient use of my time. On the other hand, it can narrow my vision, provoke stress, instill expectation (and thus let-down), and take me away from the present moment.

It feels necessary and important, but I still question whether I really need it. Do the cons outweigh the pros? Is that last drawback- taking me away from the present moment- enough of a drawback to eliminate this infamous list all together?

I have to admit, I feel so.... productive and important being able to check things off my list. And don't get me started on how I've felt on those few days I've actually checked off every.single.thing.on.the.list! I love planning so I love lists. I'm scatterbrained so they have been a great tool for getting me focused.

But, I can get so wrapped up in checking things off that list, too. I will get so focused on getting things done, I'll suddenly notice it's 2:00 in the afternoon and Everett is begging me for the 100th time to play with him. Its times like this I think back at the day and the good feeling of checking tasks of the good ole To-Do list suddenly melts away. Then I cringe at how much I let myself get wrapped up in the list and missed so much time to be with my son. And for what? A natural high of feeling prepared? Feeling like a successful housewife and mom who can showcase all that she has gotten done in a day?

Luckily, this doesn't happen too often. I've actually had more days as of late that I don't write any To Do list so that I can stay present. After all, I have a new baby on the way, which means I have little time to enjoy my days filled with just Everett and me. The chores can and do wait, unless Everett wants to help. The cooking, well... it gets done because we have to eat, but I usually get Everett involved in that.

As for just about anything else, I take a hard core look at it and ask myself how important it is that I get it done. I do a lot of prioritizing and evaluating, and I don't let much become higher priority than time with my family. When it comes to a task or favor someone else wants me to do, I ask myself, "do I feel obligated to do this? Or do I really want to help out?" It's hard to say no sometimes, but I almost always feel good about it later. I especially feel good after I finish having a great day with Everett instead of trudging through that obligation.

So it's all about balance. I need the list some days- in preparation for Everett's recent birthday party, in preparation for the baby, etc.. But if I start out the morning scrambling to pull everything out of my head to put down on paper, I stop and put the pen down. Most days, it's just not that important.


What do you think about this infamous list? How much do you find yourself using it? If you live by it, how do you balance out your time playing or being present and chugging along with chores? 

Today, I Celebrate You (A Letter to my Son)

My son's third birthday was on Friday and we just completed a weekend full of parties. It was so much fun to celebrate with him and witness what joy that this birthday brought for him. It seemed to be the first that he really knew what his birthday was about, and had opinions on everything surrounding it. On Friday, I took sometime to write him a letter in his journal and I wanted to share it because I thought of all the other mamas that could relate....


Dear Everett,

Today you turned 3 years old.  Happy birthday, my big guy.  I will tell you now, as I have told you before and will tell you over and over again:  I love you more than the trees love the sun, the fish love the water and the birds love the sky.  I love you more than my body is able to contain. I'm afraid, without you, I would have never felt so strongly. And so I thank you for being in my life, for choosing your daddy and me. It is an honor to be your mom.

Being with you is pure gold.
My life has been filled with
magical moments
when I notice you in a particular way
that puts the entire world
on pause.

I am both bursting over with joy
and wanting to hold it all in.

I want to soak it in.
I want to let it seep into my skin
and nourish me, flowing down
into my heart to find
a permanent home.

Somewhere it can not be replaced,
neither upon waking
nor growing up.
But somewhere I can always go
to feel it again.

Today, I celebrate you.

Love always,
Mommy

Kids Yoga Activities: Spring Time, Balancing Time

Welcome to spring! The sun is finally beginning to warm our cheeks and warm the Earth. Green clover and the first shoots of flowers are popping out of the ground. And chances are, rain will be in the forecast every week!


This week's yoga activity is a fun introduction to this growing season and a chance to improve balance, coordination and creative expression. It is geared towards 2-7 year olds.

Introduce the activity by asking what happens in the spring time. Hopefully you hear the answer or can come up with answer together that new plants, flowers and trees grow in the spring. Tell your child, "Let's pretend we're tree seeds and plant ourselves."

• Squat on the ground in a ball, hugging your knees. Ask your child, "What does a tree need to grow?" 
• If you hear water/rain pat the ground with your hands making the sound of the rain and then begin to slowly "grow" to standing, ending in tree pose. 
• In tree pose you will be balancing on one leg with the other foot resting on the side of your calf. Your arms grow up to the sky.  
• As you are standing in tree pose, ask your child what kind of tree he is to stimulate further creativity.  
• Repeat the growing, starting back as a seed, to balance on the other leg. 

You can repeat the activity with other "plant" poses like flower:

• Begin sitting on the ground, hugging knees to chest as your seed. 
• You might suggest the sun shining down on the seed this time. Raise your arms in an arc over your head, slowly moving them down to the ground as you move your knees open to the ground. 
• Bring the bottoms of your feet together, slide your hands under your ankles with palms face up and until you reach your wrists or elbows. 
• Then as you grow, lift your feet off the ground to balance on your bottom. 
• Once you are balancing in flower ask your child what kind of flower he is. 

For butterfly and bird (eagle) poses, ask your child, "what bugs or animals do we see flying around the flowers and trees?" Allow them to brainstorm different ideas; you can always make up your own poses for them. Then say something like, "Let's pretend to be a butterfly/bird flying around in the fresh spring air."

For butterfly pose:

• Start seated on the ground, open knees and pull the bottoms of your feet together and bring the feet close to your body. 
• Raise your pointer fingers atop your head for antennae, and flap your "wings" by moving your knees.
• As you fly around, ask your child where he is flying to.

If you repeat for bird (eagle) pose this is what it will look like:

• Start standing with feet together. Bend your knees and lift one leg to stack knees on top of each other while balancing on the other foot. If you can, wrap toes around the back of the balancing leg.
• Bring arms out to your sides and flap your "wings."

If you do this activity, share with me how it goes! What other plant, animal or bug poses can you come up with?  Return back to the post to comment or even take pictures (of this week's activity or any week) and email them to me for  post called Kids Yoga Activities: Look What You've Done! that I will be featuring in a few weeks.

Kids in the Kitchen: Nut Butter Balls

Cooking and baking with Everett is one of my favorite things to do with him. He started asking to help at a very young age, so it's become quite routine for him to excitedly exclaim, "I want to help!" and drag his stool over to the counter tops.  He is an eager beaver for sure, and a great eater, too. He knows a lot about why the food on his plate is good for him and because he often helps get it there, he chows down.

In light of our favorite activity,  I'd like to start another biweekly post called Kids in the Kitchen.  This post will be about bringing your child into the kitchen in order to help him become present to the food that nourishes his body. I think it's the easiest way to promote wholesome nutrition that becomes natural to your child's eating habits as he grows. These posts will include lots of recipes that I use when I cook with Everett, tips for using your child's help when preparing meals, and educational activities related to nutrition.

This week we present a tasty, wholesome and versatile snack recipe:

Nut Butter Balls  

1 cup nut butter *peanut, almond, cashew, etc.
3 cups rolled oats, not instant
1/2 cup ground flax seed
1/4 cup each of a few mix-ins: dried fruit, seeds, nuts, chocolate chips, coconut, etc.
1 tsp cinnamon
3/4 cup honey


In a big bowl, mix together all the dry ingredients.  Add honey and stir together until well combined. Set some waxed paper or cut and reuse a waxed cereal bag and set that on a cookie sheet. Spoon out a couple tablespoons and roll into a ball, set on waxed paper. I keep a small bowl of water for dipping fingers into as we roll the balls. Wet fingers make for easier rolling.
For keeping in fridge, collect into seal-able container. For freezing, flash freeze for about 15 minutes then toss in a container or plastic bag and keep in freezer.

Everett really has a big hand in this recipe. I help him measure things out, scooping them out of the bag or pouring them into the measuring cup. He dumps it all in and starts the mixing. I have to finish up the mixing because it's tough for him to combine it all. Then I pull a bit out on a big spoon for him and he rolls it into balls. His little hands are perfect for this step.

I like to change up what we put in them to keep it interesting and vary his tastes. And if you keep some frozen then take a few out to pop into a container before you leave, they are a great replacement for granola bars.

5 Ways to Embarrass Your Children While Going Green

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage green!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we're writing about being green — both how green we were when we were young and how green our kids are today. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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5. Shop at thrift stores.

I was pretty young when my parents shopped at thrift stores, and it was more out of financial necessity than being green. I'm not even sure if it was embarrassing to me. I do remember other kids being teased for dressing like a thrift store. Then when I got to high school and didn't fit in, I figured, "if I don't fit in, why not really not fit in? I don't care!" So, I started to shop at thrift stores for hideous wallpaper-looking shirts to wear whenever the kids did see me outside of school. 

Of course, now, I love checking out second-hand shops for clothes, especially for Everett. It's amazing what cute stuff you can get thrift or second-hand. 


4. Buy food in bulk so that your kids don't have lunches that look just like the convenience packaged lunches of their peers.
Nope, there were no individual bags of Ruffles, no single-serve Jell-O pudding.  We had plastic containers of applesauce that we had to eat with silverware from home, and open baggie after baggie for sandwiches, a couple cookies, some chips.  


With the amount of recycling available now, I have gotten a bit lazy with Everett's lunches from time to time. Getting him single serve yogurts or applesauces, but I appease my guilt by including a note to keep the containers in his lunch pack so we can recycle them. Most of the time, though, we use the same method with reusable containers and bags.  
We go even further with our bulk purchases. Costco is one of my favorite places to shop, but still I will only buy certain products. No case of single serve anything here. Its gotta be a big giant bag. And don't get me started on the bulk aisle at Whole Foods where I can reuse my own baggies for sugar, flours, beans and nuts galore. Extra packaging just drives me crazy!

3. Dress your kids in hand-me-down clothing. 

Even worse, dress them in hand-me-down clothing from you or a sibling of the opposite gender. Hee, hee. I didn't wear boy clothing, but I did have to borrow my mom's clothes for a couple of homecoming dances because my parents didn't want to buy a dress I would only wear once. No one could really tell it was my mom's, but I self-consciously thought to myself, "why can't I just get a cute dress like the other girls?"  I knew I totally did not fit in with the new dresses, salon up-dos and fake nails but, oh, how I secretly longed to....


At least now I can choose when I accept hand-me-downs.  My family always turns to each other with a "do you want this?" before tossing an unwanted item in the goodwill bag.  We definitely share kids clothes and if we have another boy come late April, we will absolutely be using Everett's clothes.  Putting aside the environmental impact, a parent who doesn't do this is just financially dumb. 

2. Tell stories about your own childhood when your family raised its own rabbits to eat. Then proceed to cook things like cow tongue and oxtail soup as if you are living in the 18th Century trying to use every part of the animal you just hunted down and killed.  

Seriously, my dad did this. I still remember him teasing us by trying to wipe the skin of the tongue on our faces. Do we do this? Not so much. I'll try just about anything, but even if we do split half a cow with someone with a local farm, I'm not about to ask for tongues, brains, testicles and all. We'll just stick to the locally farmed or, at least, free-range hormone and antibiotic free poultry and meats of regular cut.

1. Pack their lunch with an assortment of recycled cereal and bread bags instead of good ol' Ziploc. (This is waaaay embarrassing to a 4th grader!)

I don't even know why this was so embarrassing, but it was. I hated it. Ironically, although not surprisingly, this is one of the first "green" things I started to do as an adult. Everett's lunches are packed with reusable containers and, while we're still working on cutting down our use of packaging, sometimes a cereal bag or two. 

There is loads more stuff we do now, that my parents weren't able to do. Or maybe I just don't remember it. Cutting down on packaging, buying organic/local, reusing/recycling, composting, organic gardening... the list goes on. I love that Everett is growing up in a household that is aware of its impact on the Earth and its people. Of course, now that it's cool to be green, we won't be embarrassing him so much. We'll just have to get creative with that!

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants.
(This list will be updated March 9 with all the carnival links.)

• My Momma Was a Hippie — Jessica at This is Worthwhile is continuing her Earth Momma mother's way of honoring nature by taking her child outside every day. (@tisworthwhile)
• Mom Did Know Best, About Diapers at Least — Guavalicious at They Are So Cute When They Are Sleeping has a dirty secret about cloth diapers: They're easy. (@guavalicious)
• The Force that Drives the Water Through the Rocks — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest remembers her first spiritual connection with nature, granted to her through her father's care for the spirits of the earth.
• Confessions of a Cabbage Patch Kid — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned about landfills and recycling through gardening. (@kitchenwitch)
• Seeing My Grandmother Through Green Colored Lenses — Michelle at Seeking Mother was raised by a grandmother who wouldn't let anyone throw out used clothing — ever — and who believed baths were water enough for two or more people at least. (@seekingmother)
• Through Green Tinted Glasses — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis realized her family didn't so much choose green as it chose them, since not being green would have cost a lot more.
• Green or Die! — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing remembers berating her family for not turning off the faucets — and notes that her efforts to save the planet for another 20 years must have worked.
• Natural Parenting Carnival: Green Living — Sarah at Natural Parenting is doing more to make her children's generation green than what she had as a child.
• Natural Parenting Carnival: Vintage Green — pchanner at A Mom's Fresh Start used to fill her own water bottles from a spring — before doing so was cool. (@pchanner)
• Getting Dirty — Molly at Molly's Place is inspired by her mother's camaraderie with nature. She's going to get back in touch with the real food cycle, as opposed to the "shrink-wrapped nutrition" you can buy. (@KPMolly)
• My Vintage Green Raincoat — Mama at Maman A Droit is wearing her brother's bright green raincoat — 16 years later! (@MamanADroit)
• Vintage Green — Darcel at Mahogany Way hasn't realized it yet, but she is slowly turning into her parents. ;) (@MahoganyWayMama)
• Vintage Green — mrs green at littlegreenblog reminds us that children can be green simply by being kids. (@myzerowaste)
• March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage Green — Lauren at Hobo Mama was eco-chic before it was en vogue. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Growing Up Green — Chrystal at Happy Mothering honed her green instinct from an early age. (@HappyMothering)
• greener pastures — The Grumbles at Grumbles and Grunts has a list of ways she's transitioning from green living as a novelty to green living as a lifestyle. (@thegrumbles)
• Vintage Green: The Hot Water Tank Is Not Sexy — Zoey at Good Goog had to go green when moss started growing around her feet. (@zoeyspeak)
• We Walked Softly — Starr at Earth Mama wrote a beautiful post about how her parents instilled a love of and respect for Earth and nature in her, and how she is passing that gift on to her own children.
• Save the Mermaids! — CurlyMonkey is learning from her daughter how to keep the mermaids happy. (@curlymonkey_)
• March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage Green — Dionna at Code Name: Mama sees glimpses of her mother's greenness frugality in her own life - but she draws the line at pantyhose soap. (@CodeNameMama)
• I Thought I Made Them Green, But Really They Made Me — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! thought she made her parents green — until she took a closer look. (@bfmom)
• A Culture of Less — Alison at BluebirdMama explained why homebirth is the green childbirth choice. I love this thought! (@childbearing)
• 5 Ways to Embarrass Your Children While Going Green — Acacia at Be Present Mama shares some of the embarrassing things her parents did to her in the name of being eco-conscious.
• Ending Is Better than Mending? — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries is teaching us how to darn socks armed only with a light bulb. (@babydust)
• There and Back Again: A Green Girl's Tale — Lactating Girl offers a gentle reminder that certain eco-conscious practices shouldn't be "ideals," but realities. (@LactatingGirl)

Your Impact: Begin with Awareness, Continue with Questioning

The choice to be green in our family didn't come into play when it became cool to be green. No, we were conscious of our impact on the Earth long before this trend set in. For me, part of being present means being aware of your impact not just on people, but on the Earth as well. And it means constantly questioning my lifestyle. Asking myself how much waste I produce, how much packaging I consume, where my food and home products are coming from, and so forth. It means creating a life that impacts the Earth as beneficially as possible. 


It's not easy creating a sustainable life.  We all know that our society has created a very convenience driven, hygienically obsessed, highly consuming lifestyle. We call for individual packaging so we don't have to count out 10 crackers or take a few more minutes to spoon some applesauce into a reusable container for our kids lunch. We want cleaners that wipe every germ off the face of the earth, or at least our counter tops, without thinking about what toxins are left behind. We buy new clothes with every passing season and buy our kids the latest toys without thinking past the curb or the Goodwill store where we'll send the old ones. Realistically, there is no getting around consumption, but you can be more aware of what and how much you are consuming, and how it impacts the earth.


How our Awareness Affects Society


I am glad to see that some of the nations leading brand names are exploring renewable energy, recycled materials and non-toxic formulas. That means that we are beginning some real change. However, be aware of what remains of their true motivation, and what the real impact for their changes are. While some companies are making great strides and have good intentions, there remains much more out there for us to question and pursue. . 


Take for example, S.C. Johnson. The company as a whole has leaped into the green movement with their own Sustainability campaign that you can read about on their website. This campaign includes "improving products", "reducing resource use", and "protecting families."  S.C. Johnson seems to have some great goals for altering their impact on the earth in all of these areas and in some ways I have to give them props. Their natural product line, Nature's Source, is plant based and less toxic. Their plant based cleaning agent comes from coconut or palm kernel oil. While there is much criticism on how palm and coconuts are unsustainably  harvested for such cleaners and their website gives no details on how they harvest, they do use the was of the palm kernels as a biofuel at their Indonesian factory. 


They say, "We know you value transparency, and we're committed to sharing what's inside our products." They provide a new website, www.whatsinsidescjohnson.com, that allows you to look up the ingredients in their conventional and natural cleaners. They use simple terms that are easy for anyone to understand. Sure, thanks. Simple but still not clear on what this means for my family or the earth. 


I looked up Windex window cleaner. The website lists the ingredients: water, carriers, cleaning agents, wetting agent, fragrance, dye. You can click an alternate tab to find out what specific carriers or agents are present, and you can even click on those specific ingredients to get a definition. However, the information they give is extremely limited and doesn't really explain a thing. Ethanolamine is one of the cleaning agents listed, and the definition they give says "A cleaning agent that removes dirt and soils." Well, duh. Isn't that what cleaning means? 


I looked up ethanolamine at the Environmental Working Group's cosmetics database, and it rates ethanolamine as moderate to highly hazardous depending on product use. It sites hazards from occupational handling and to respiratory and immune toxicity. including risk of cancer. That may not explain the impact such a synthetic toxic ingredient has on the Earth, but it explains what it does to my family. And it tells me that transparency isn't really so valued at S.C. Johnson. 


Continue with Questioning


So there at S.C. Johnson and around the US, our consumer driven society is making strides and demanding change! Okay. Asking for change... nudging for change? Well, at least we're starting to become aware. Now we need to continue asking for change and make change in our own lives by asking questions. Question yourself and your habits. Question the companies we purchase from like S.C. Johnson, Target or Starbucks.  Question each other. It takes work and discipline, but it's necessary if we are going to have a lasting beneficial impact on the Earth. 

Mindful Meditation

Every other week that I am not posting about Kids Yoga Activities, I will be continually posting about Mindful Meditation. I hope to introduce people to the benefits and know-how of meditation and, perhaps, inspire a bit of practice. Most of these posts will be brief. Quick and easy to read so you can focus on taking the idea with you and starting a practice, if you choose.

My own personal meditation practice has wavered through the years. At times, I have been dedicated and disciplined, with a practice of sitting down to meditate 3 or 4 times a week, both in and out of yoga class. My meditations were deep and lengthy. I was able to easily vision and felt very connected to my intuition. In other more recent times, during yoga or running is about what I can muster up the time for. My meditations have regressed a bit. It is not as easy for me to still my mind or meditate for as long.

With either situation, I can feel a difference between my life previous to meditation and my life now. I have always been a fairly laid back person. However, before meditation (and yoga, for that matter) I was more uptight about how my life needed to be organized and was more anxious or upset when my expectations were let down. I was more moody and more easily stressed. Now in general, it takes a lot for me to feel stressed, I am happier and a lot more relaxed about day to day life.

For the first several posts, I would like to introduce five of the limbs of yoga that relate specifically to meditation. Most of us are more likely to relate to the first three that I will discuss. The last two, well, we can dream of getting there someday, but at least they will be inspiring.  Each time I will also include with this information a small exercise that you can do to start out a meditation practice.

Pranayama


Literally translated to mean "life force extension," it more or less means breath control. Yoga Journal explains, "this fourth stage consists of techniques designed to gain mastery over the respiratory process while recognizing the connection between the breath, the mind, and the emotions."  In other words, simply being present to your breath as a single system deeply connected to the whole universe of you. Your entire body has the potential of functioning at its best if you are breathing optimally. You can practice pranayama while sitting and strictly doing breath exercises, or you can incorporate it into a yoga practice. I think you can even incorporate it into some solo exercises like waking or running. 


The following limbs explore more of the mind, the senses and a higher state of consciousness, all of which we generally associate with meditation. However, I think to build a strong and lasting meditation practice, one should start with this limb. From here, becoming aware and familiar with your breath gives you a solid foundation. 


This week, set aside some time to sit down and begin a new relationship with your breath. Situate yourself comfortably so you can focus on your breath. Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your lap or the floor. Close your eyes and draw your awareness to your breath. Is it shallow and labored, or deep and relaxed? Where do you feel it? Just in your chest? Or deep in your belly and back? Do your shoulders rise and fall? Are you breathing from your mouth or nose? or both? 


Once you have noticed where your breath is, start focusing it in a different way. Take a breath and bring it deeply into your belly, feeling your belly inflate and deflate like a balloon. Take another breath and bring it into your chest, expanding your ribs in the front, sides and back. Take another breath and bring it into your shoulders feeling them rise without strain during the inhale, and melt down and back during the exhale.  Take a last breath and try to incorporate all three actions. With the inhale, send your breath deep into your belly, filling your rib cage in all directions and allow your shoulders to rise. With the exhale, allow your shoulders to soften down and back, your chest to fall and your belly to deflate last. Focus for a few minutes on breathing in this manner.

If you choose to do this a few times each week you will become more familiar with your breath and begin breathing in a more beneficial way. You will be using your entire lung capacity and will encourage your body to relax with each exhale. With practice, you may notice that you breathe more readily like this all the time. This alone gives you the possibility of feeling more relaxed and more energetic.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: Being Present to Emotional Changes in My Son

A friend of mine, Dionna, recently wrote a post titled "Dealing with Children's Feelings" on her blog, Code Name: Mama. She focuses on a particular book, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk. that she is reading. She says it discusses ways in which we deny our children their feelings through our responses to them, then how we can help with their feelings.  Reading her post couldn't have come at a better time. We will very soon be venturing into year three with Everett, and some stronger feelings of anger have been expressed by him recently that relate very well to it.

I'm pretty sensitive to this in Everett because I want his feelings to be validated. Since he was very young we have helped him to identify his feelings and encouraged him to talk about them so that he can more easily communicate what he needs. If it was evident he was feeling upset that a toy was put away, we would say, "It seems like you are feeling upset because your toy was put away. You must feel that way because you really liked playing with it. Am I right?" As gains the capability to label emotions on his own, we turn it on him.  "Please tell me how you are feeling so I can help you out."

I feel this is important in respecting him as a human being and fosters a trusting relationship between us that will carry on through all the stages and ages of his development. Furthermore, as his feelings are validated through us, he learns to be present to himself.  I can't tell you how many adults I know, including myself, that are not present or even aware of what they are truly feeling.  Due to various circumstances, they have experienced something at a younger age that has taught them to push back their feelings and manifested into a life long pattern. These patterns lead to problems with relationships, self esteem, career paths, self fulfillment, etc.

So, for the last several months, my husband, Erik, and I have really enjoyed seeing this come to fruition as Everett has dealt with upsets more calmly and has consistently expressed and talked about his feelings in any given situation. In the last couple weeks, however, a new pattern has developed. He is opening up to stronger emotions directed at us. He feels angry when we are trying to discipline him, for example, and is trying to figure out how to express it. This has resulted in a little more hitting sometimes, but mostly some air punches, grunting or even short screams, and (often funny looking) contorted facial expressions. Where usually he would cry a little as we sit down on the couch, he now wants to down and ignore our desire to follow up with consequences and often puts up a bigger fight.

In my desire to respect his emotions and stay present to the situation, how do I allow him to express his feelings but learn how to express them more appropriately and still experience the necessary consequences?

I have a feeling that this is one that will take some trial and error to figure out. My first reaction is to let him blow off steam, telling him to take a minute to cool off so we can talk.  Of course, he doesn't want to do this WHAT? TALK?, and sometimes, it just fuels his fire. The situation and my reaction looks different almost every time.

I acknowledge his reaction, "I see you feel angry and need a moment to cool down, but you still have consequences for your actions that we have to talk about."
I set limits, "Its okay to grunt, its not okay to scream. People think that you are badly hurt when you scream." "It's okay to punch the air, it's not okay to hit mommy because it hurts me."
I offer a quiet place to cool down- the couch, his room, my lap.
I suggest breathing and demonstrate how to punch the air while breathing in puffs that slow down to calmer breaths.
I even talked to him yesterday, completely detached from an angry moment, about creating a special place he can go whenever he needs some time to himself. He immediately responded with an, "I don't want to." but I think that was because, more often than not, he still feels most secure being with me as much as possible. I think we will take on this little project anyway and I preface it with a few examples of when he might want some time to himself.

Nothing has worked out entirely, yet. But like I said, this one will probably take some time and effort. I imagine these sort of situations will as he gets older and his emotions become more complex. It makes parenting in the present feel much more important, however, so I can set a solid foundation for our relationship in the years to come.

How do you stay present with your child when s/he has an outburst? How do you teach them to be present to their feelings and still express them appropriately?

Kids Yoga Activities

On Sunday I attended a workshop for Kids Yoga Teacher Training, and I've been working on a guest post on the benefits of kids yoga (will be coming soon!).  In light of these events, I thought I would start a regular feature on kid's yoga activities. I'll try to post a new activity every other week, so about 2-3 times a month. All things you can do at home with your own children to bring the benefits of yoga into your lives. 


This first activity is a simple one that focuses on breathing. Yoga is certainly about the asanas, or poses, but a large part of it is about being present to yourself through breathing. This activity is fun, quick, has an educational element involved and teaches awareness of breath. 


Alphabet Belly Breathing


Mainly geared towards 2-5 year olds, it can be used for older kids still working on letter recognition or you may find a variation appropriate for your child's age. 


Gather some play letters- stuffed, bathtub foam, even just cards of letters- and sprinkle a few of them on the ground between you and your child/ren. Each of you choose a letter. When it is your turn, hold the letter up so everyone can see it, identify what letter it is (our help your child identify his/her letter). Everyone places one hand on their belly, inhales through the nose and exhales through the mouth saying the letter long and drawn out. 


For example, I hold up the letter "G" and tell everyone what it is. We all put a hand on our bellies, inhale through our noses and exhale saying "Geeeeeeeeee."  Then the next person has their turn, repeating with their letter. 
You can repeat a few times and talk about how your belly moves when you breathe. 

Affirmations


Affirmations promote a child's positive sense of self and can be used as a tool for learning about positive emotions or values. End your yoga activity with an affirmation. Sit comfortably, place hands at heart center, palms together and thumbs touching chest.  Say the affirmation, one piece at a time, allowing your child a chance to repeat it. Today's affirmation:


"Peace in my Body. Peace in my Heart. Peace all around me." 

These are two great children's books with affirmations in them.  You should be able to find them through your local library or bookstore.


  
Incredible You: 10 ways to Let Your Greatness Shine Through by Dr. Wayne Dyer
http://www.amazon.com/Incredible-Ways-greatness-shine-through/dp/1401907822



I Think, I Am: Teaching Kids the Power of Affirmations by Louise L. Hay
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401922082/ref=pd_luc_sbs_02_01