Significant changes and challenges this year have left me both feeling like I'm floundering and stuck. I've struggled to find rhythm in our new home and gain back a sense of inner peace. Six weeks ago, the disconnect between Everett, my 3 1/2 year old son, and me brought heart wrenching pain some days. In response, I filled our weeks with the social interaction that he seems to demand nowadays. He spends less time fighting with me and more time being able to explore his relationships with others. This has been very good for our connection. It has grown stronger again.
However, it's also created an imbalance in me because we don't have enough time at home to create that quiet rhythm that brings me peace, including the time I have to be alone doing yoga or running in order to release and rejuvenate physically, and time to reflect introspectively. I wouldn't go back; the unrest is much better than the pain of disconnect. Yet, I have been scattered and unsure of how to gain back my ground.
Sometime at the beginning of this month, I decided to start talking about gratitude with Everett in preparation for Thanksgiving. Gratitude was a virtue instilled in me at a very early age by parents who worked very hard to create their better life and a beautiful, loving family. From as far back as I remember, my parents (and extended families) have greatly emphasized how blessed we were and how grateful they felt for our lives.
So, I've been reflecting on gratitude a lot this month. I've felt it swelling within me. I've felt it anchoring me, if not for just a moment, in a way that I have yearned to be anchored for months now. Having such deep roots with this virtue, it's no wonder it can bring me such peace now.
Gratitude is a beautiful thing. It can teach us humility and generosity. I can help us become conscious of our choices, become conscious of other people and the world. Gratitude can remind us of the past- where we have come from and where we can go in the light of people who have tread before us. Gratitude can center us, or calm our storms. It can simplify our thinking and our life. And, best of all, gratitude can be a path to love and peace.
So,this Thanksgiving, for myself and my family, for the abundance in my life, the love that I find evidence of every day, and the peace that resides there even when I can't see it- I give the greatest of thanks.